Seceding Hairline
I missed the tea party at Austin City Hall earlier today but purposely spit up some Earl Grey all over my keyboard in solidarity with my fellow tax fedder-uppers. (In all honesty, I can’t stand tea....
View ArticleIf At First You Don’t Secede, Try, Try Again
Best bumper sticker I saw yesterday while weaving through angry men suited up in waistcoats and breeches: “Thanks to Barack, We’re gonna be Ba-roke!” This could mean one of two things–either we’re...
View ArticleSecessional Healing
When Sen. John Cornyn becomes the voice of reason, you know that we have crossed some line, somewhere, and we can never go back. Asked about the legality of secession, he told reporters that no, as a...
View ArticleOne Nation, Under Perry
Media Alert! Gov. Perry will appear on Hannity this afternoon to formally announce that we are seceding from the union. A co-worker who was listening to talk radio this morning heard an interesting...
View ArticleRapture the Flag
What better way to celebrate Independence Day than with another dumbass tea party protest. People. It’s a holiday. Go throw some red, white, and blue burgers on the grill and burn a few...
View ArticleCapture the Flag
It just figures that there was a raucous secessionist rally at the state capitol on one of the few Saturdays that I wasn’t hanging out on the lawn with a nostalgic smile on my face, reflecting on my...
View ArticleThe Governor Who Played With Fire
As you’ve probably already heard, Rick Perry is writing a book about how much he hates the federal government. It’s called “FED UP” because “MY PET COYOTE” was taken. Fed up? Seriously? That’s such a...
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Secede With Caution
I trust you all had a happy Thanksgiving. My family celebrated in regular holiday fashion by lining up my nieces and nephews and making them do tricks for us while we drank wine and ate five kinds of...
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